Sara Duff
Truths or Dares
Imagine that you’re a young woman holding the hand of a young man whom you just met today. Nevermind how you met him. One way or another, the two of you ended up having a few drinks, then it was last call, and now you’re walking down the street towards your cars.
“Let’s take this alleyway," the man says, "it’ll be faster.”
“Nothing good ever starts with that line,” you joke.
He laughs and nudges your shoulder playfully. You move down the alleyway together and at its end, you pause until he pounces. Suddenly there you are, kissing a stranger in an alley. But to be fair, you are 86% sure that you want to be kissing him. His tongue moves fast in your mouth, side-to-side, like a pinball caught between bumpers. Once you finally manage to slow him down, he breaks away and says:
"You're a good kisser! Let’s go make out in your car.”
“Ummm,” you hesitate.
True or False: On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the best person you have ever kissed, this man is a four.
“Let’s go. Let’s do it,” he says, holding your hand and pulling you towards your car. “It’ll be an adventure.”
Why would you go along with the idea? Better yet, why wouldn't you?
A few moments later, he’s in the passenger seat and you're in the driver's seat. It’s fun to be kissing someone, pushing and pulling your heads together, running your fingers through his hair, creating passion through speeding up and slowing down… Soon enough, he grabs your hand and puts it on his pants.
Yep, you guessed it. It’s an erection. You kiss his neck to add a bit of romance back into the situation. He puts his hand up your shirt.
True or False: It feels good to have your boobs fondled.
How do you react when he squeezes them until it hurts?
After less than a minute of second base, the man’s hand moves towards your pants. Knock knock.
No, he cannot come in. With this, you are very firm.
“Not even a little bit?” he asks.
You shake your head solemnly no. "It's not a good time of the month for that," you say. It doesn’t matter whether this is the truth.
In response to this recent pants-related failure, the man pulls his own pants halfway down. So now there's a penis in the passenger seat. That’s just the way it is, the latest situation. You suppose you may as well give him a hand-job.
Do you continue to kiss him? When jerking him off becomes repetitive, do you feel bored and stop? How do you respond when he asks you if you will give him a blow job?
Let’s just say that you do suck him off for awhile. He keeps murmuring, “That feels so good,” and maybe you feel proud to be doing such a nice job. But then he pulls a little too hard on your hair in a way that feels demeaning, so you stop.
"Awwww," he moans. "I’m so close to finishing. Couldn't you just go back down for a little while longer?"
True or false: once sexual acts are underway, it is imperative for a man to have an orgasm.
For the sake of argument, let’s say that you answer ‘true.’ Is it partially because that would be the quickest way to get him out of your car?
“Welllll,” you say.
"We-elllll" he mimics your hesitation.
To be honest, this pisses you off. How does he feel that he has a right to mock you at this point in time?
“Eh,” you say, “I’m not really a spits or swallows kind of girl.”
He whines and you laugh. It’s not that you don’t like blow-jobs—you’re just not in the mood to have strange semen in your mouth. And so he starts to jerk himself off, mechanically, as he kisses you and intermittently says, “God, I would fuck you so hard,” like it’s his mantra. The phrase excites him because it’s vulgar but it interests you because of how simply complicated each word seems: God/fuck, I/you . . .
“Can I at least cum on your tits?” he asks.
You don’t see why not, really, so you lean over to the passenger’s seat and dangle your boob. Splooge. You giggle. Do you think he will feel ashamed later, when he remembers that you laughed when he came?
“That was fun!” he says.
In this moment, you agree with him. You find some napkins in your glove compartment, which you’d saved with less complicated messes in mind, and the two of you wipe down your respective areas of the car and your bodies. After he tosses his napkin outside of the car in an act of littering, you're quick to send him on his way.
“What’s your last name?” he asks you before he leaves. “I’ll friend you on Facebook.”
“Oh, I prefer to be mysterious,” you say.
On the drive home, you feel like a lady of the night in the most thrilling way possible as you replay the situation. There was no point where you felt that you’d lost control. You stood up for yourself and he orgasmed—doesn’t that constitute a success? But eventually, do you start to worry whether you were too passive? Was he too pushy?
Sometimes conclusions feel inescapable.
Pop Quiz
“Let’s take this alleyway," the man says, "it’ll be faster.”
“Nothing good ever starts with that line,” you joke.
He laughs and nudges your shoulder playfully. You move down the alleyway together and at its end, you pause until he pounces. Suddenly there you are, kissing a stranger in an alley. But to be fair, you are 86% sure that you want to be kissing him. His tongue moves fast in your mouth, side-to-side, like a pinball caught between bumpers. Once you finally manage to slow him down, he breaks away and says:
"You're a good kisser! Let’s go make out in your car.”
“Ummm,” you hesitate.
True or False: On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the best person you have ever kissed, this man is a four.
“Let’s go. Let’s do it,” he says, holding your hand and pulling you towards your car. “It’ll be an adventure.”
Why would you go along with the idea? Better yet, why wouldn't you?
A few moments later, he’s in the passenger seat and you're in the driver's seat. It’s fun to be kissing someone, pushing and pulling your heads together, running your fingers through his hair, creating passion through speeding up and slowing down… Soon enough, he grabs your hand and puts it on his pants.
Yep, you guessed it. It’s an erection. You kiss his neck to add a bit of romance back into the situation. He puts his hand up your shirt.
True or False: It feels good to have your boobs fondled.
How do you react when he squeezes them until it hurts?
After less than a minute of second base, the man’s hand moves towards your pants. Knock knock.
No, he cannot come in. With this, you are very firm.
“Not even a little bit?” he asks.
You shake your head solemnly no. "It's not a good time of the month for that," you say. It doesn’t matter whether this is the truth.
In response to this recent pants-related failure, the man pulls his own pants halfway down. So now there's a penis in the passenger seat. That’s just the way it is, the latest situation. You suppose you may as well give him a hand-job.
Do you continue to kiss him? When jerking him off becomes repetitive, do you feel bored and stop? How do you respond when he asks you if you will give him a blow job?
Let’s just say that you do suck him off for awhile. He keeps murmuring, “That feels so good,” and maybe you feel proud to be doing such a nice job. But then he pulls a little too hard on your hair in a way that feels demeaning, so you stop.
"Awwww," he moans. "I’m so close to finishing. Couldn't you just go back down for a little while longer?"
True or false: once sexual acts are underway, it is imperative for a man to have an orgasm.
For the sake of argument, let’s say that you answer ‘true.’ Is it partially because that would be the quickest way to get him out of your car?
“Welllll,” you say.
"We-elllll" he mimics your hesitation.
To be honest, this pisses you off. How does he feel that he has a right to mock you at this point in time?
“Eh,” you say, “I’m not really a spits or swallows kind of girl.”
He whines and you laugh. It’s not that you don’t like blow-jobs—you’re just not in the mood to have strange semen in your mouth. And so he starts to jerk himself off, mechanically, as he kisses you and intermittently says, “God, I would fuck you so hard,” like it’s his mantra. The phrase excites him because it’s vulgar but it interests you because of how simply complicated each word seems: God/fuck, I/you . . .
“Can I at least cum on your tits?” he asks.
You don’t see why not, really, so you lean over to the passenger’s seat and dangle your boob. Splooge. You giggle. Do you think he will feel ashamed later, when he remembers that you laughed when he came?
“That was fun!” he says.
In this moment, you agree with him. You find some napkins in your glove compartment, which you’d saved with less complicated messes in mind, and the two of you wipe down your respective areas of the car and your bodies. After he tosses his napkin outside of the car in an act of littering, you're quick to send him on his way.
“What’s your last name?” he asks you before he leaves. “I’ll friend you on Facebook.”
“Oh, I prefer to be mysterious,” you say.
On the drive home, you feel like a lady of the night in the most thrilling way possible as you replay the situation. There was no point where you felt that you’d lost control. You stood up for yourself and he orgasmed—doesn’t that constitute a success? But eventually, do you start to worry whether you were too passive? Was he too pushy?
Sometimes conclusions feel inescapable.
Pop Quiz
- Do you think there will be a difference in the way you tell this story and the way he tells this story? What about as the days go by? The years?
- If someone were to jokingly call you a slut, in passing, would you hesitate to deny it?
- Is it tempting to make generalizations about men based on this one experience and if so, what are those generalizations?